This is an actual conversation that took place this evening:
Will: "Dad told me that if I ever get caught rolling people's houses or mudding in their yards, he won't bail me out of jail."
Dad: "That's right. If you're guilty, don't even bother to call."
Mom: "Mark, he could end up there with gay people in the same cell!"
Dad: "Well, one night of that would cure him forever."