It's days like this where working two days a week is still an inconvenience, because it always falls on the days you just need a break.
Yesterday evening I briefly went over for us to give Dad his birthday gifts (more on that later), and afterward I went upstairs to my room to gather the things that I didn't want the movers touching. It wasn't a lot; I don't have anything severely valuable. But it was things like old letters, pictures, cassette tapes from way back, a few books. You would think that I would've done all of this when I got married and moved out, and to some degree I did. But it's different when all the stuff going to be moved from the spot that it's been in for 8 years or so.
I've never known what it's like to live in a house for a lifetime. This is the longest I've ever lived in one place. So I suppose it's all relative. I went through drawers and came up with a pile of things to throw away. When I put them in the trashcan I thought....this trash represents so many years and so many emotions! There were moments while I was gathering my special things that I tried to become emotional and couldn't. Then there were moments when I would just walk around my house and kind of take it in for the last time, as I'll always remember it. The hardest thing is that even though I will still live here awhile, I can't go to that house anymore. A new family will be there, she'll decorate it how she likes, and they'll just live there like we did. But it won't be a place where I'm able to go anymore, and that just hurts.
I think it's just today. I won't be able to watch as the things are packed up slowly. If/when I go over tonight or tomorrow, it will be this sudden transformation that I won't recognize. I'm not trying to make this a depressing post, but it's all I can think about today. I've not talked about the move or anything much, and that's by choice. But today it's just unavoidable.
As I was saying earlier, last night we gave Dad his presents. It was a good time together, albeit brief. Tuesday night we're going to all go out to eat, and I'm looking forward to that. All I'm going to say about my Dad at this point in time is that I'm just proud of him. I'm so proud of the fact that I'm his daughter. On his last Sunday at CHBC, I was incredibly selfish. All I could think to myself was, Thank goodness he's my Dad and I never have to stop seeing him. And he'll be my pastor again! Again, not the most selfless way to think, but I'm just being honest. There's no adequate words to describe the relationship I have with my dad. It's just something that I've always known, and as I get older, I start to see qualities in both of my parents that I never knew existed. It's a good feeling.
I'm not sure how I'll handle the next days and weeks. But I am so confident that God has had His hand in showing my parents where to go, and that gives me a great peace. Also, I've been given the blessing of living close to them in the future.
So I end this post by saying Happy Birthday to my wonderful, wonderful Dad, and lots of love to my favorite people in the world :o)