You know, there are kind of the wimpy ones: Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny. And then there are the big hitters: characters at Disney World, the Elf on the Shelf, Santa Claus. And since this is Mr. Claus' season, that's on my mind right now.
The concept of parents not wanting to "lie" to their kids isn't new. This would probably be an appropriate time to share that my parents originally planned not to do the Santa thing when I was born.
I know.
When I found this out (far too recently for my taste), I was flabbergasted. I literally stared my mom down and said "Are you KIDDING me?!" She said that she couldn't believe they considered that either. Once I was born and it was time for my first Christmas, they just couldn't help it. It came naturally to do Santa Claus, and they haven't regretted it since.
To be fair, I understand that some parents have reservations about the whole "make believe" thing. Is it the more spiritually mature thing to do, if you solely focus on Jesus at Christmas? Aren't you lying to your children if you say Santa is real?
I need to point out that I actually have several friends who are considering not doing the whole Santa thing. This post is in no way criticizing their questioning or their choices. I just like sorting through what I think about things, and I enjoy putting my opinion out there. So here it is:
As with most parenting issues, it comes down to how the parents handle the issue when talking about it, presenting it, and executing it.
Growing up, there was never any question in our household about what the true meaning and focus of Christmas is and should be. It was talked about all the time, not just at Christmas, but throughout the entire year. Spiritual emphasis always came before Santa. Even in my little child mind, I remember clearly understanding and grasping that Santa was only an accessory and addendum to Jesus' Birthday Celebration; and that's simply because my parents made it perfectly clear 365 days out of the year.
So then the issue of lying comes up. Aren't you lying to your kids? Here's how my parents handled it and how I plan to handle it: When I asked my parents "Is Santa real?" they would always say "Well, what do you think?" And I would start rambling off my thoughts. They never confirmed or denied, they just let me believe if I was still young enough, and then they confirmed that Santa was not real when I finally figured it out on my own. I promise, it was not scarring.
And I have to ask myself, where's the line? If you're dead-set on not "lying" to your kids, where does it stop? When you go to Disney World (which I know you will), are you going to say, "Now, kids....you know Cinderella doesn't really live in that Castle. And there are people inside of the Chip and Dale costumes." NO! Who would do that?! For goodness' sake, I still believe that Cinderella lives in her Castle. Again, keep in mind that this my personal opinion. I just think that there are bigger things that deserve deep analysis, like how you're going to raise your child to know and love God with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength.
Note: if not doing Santa will help you with the above task, then by all means, do what you need to do. Our highest goal as parents is to nurture these little souls so that they come into a personal relationship with the Lord. That trumps Santa, hands down.
I just look at it like this: Children lose their innocence earlier and earlier with every generation. Childhood is supposed to be magical. Those years are so fleeting. Think about it: in the grand scheme of your life, how many years did you truly believe in Santa Claus? It's just a drop in the bucket of time that you were carefree enough to believe that a round little jolly man came down the chimney on Christmas Eve, ate the milk and cookies, and went on his merry way.
It's just Santa Claus, people.
Yes, I do believe the sign that I recently bought says it all:
14 comments:
I love this post! Very well put! I don't have children yet, but hope to do the same thing you are doing and for sure I do believe in Make believe, that is a part of every childhood!
And now I think I should formally introduce Peyton to you. Ha!
Actually, I THINK he has come around. Basically, doing what you're parents did, not saying one way or the other but just letting her think it out. Note that this was AFTER my revelation that if I preach submission I need to practice it and told Peyton that much.
It was your statement about keeping magic in childhood that best explains why I let go of the Santa issue. I never believed in Santa Clause. My parents did the whole Santa thing but for soem reason I was a born skeptic :) The Easter Bunny, tooth fairy, ect... were never an issue. My mother said as a toddler I snorted and told her I didn't believe that. However, after hearing about Clay's memories and remembering my siblings' excitement I realized that I want that for my children as well.
And, you are right, it is what we teach them 365 days a year about Christ that molds their hearts-not a belief or disbelief in make believe :)
I love this post I too think children are loosing their innocence too fast… It is OK to believe in make believe- if we have nothing to believe in then I think we are lost!!! I have so many signs and trinkets that have my favorite word on them it is simply BELIEVE… in what you might ask- well whatever I need at that moment- It reminds me of days when I often needed to turn to God- it reminds me to keep hope, believe in myself, my God, my dreams, and my family!
As for the Santa thing to Santa or not- I am 30 and still a believer!! It was always told to my sister and I- the day we stopped believing he stopped coming! And that is what I tell my students when they ask me if I believe….
Thanks Ashley for keepen it real!
I love this post I too think children are loosing their innocence too fast… It is OK to believe in make believe- if we have nothing to believe in then I think we are lost!!! I have so many signs and trinkets that have my favorite word on them it is simply BELIEVE… in what you might ask- well whatever I need at that moment- It reminds me of days when I often needed to turn to God- it reminds me to keep hope, believe in myself, my God, my dreams, and my family!
As for the Santa thing to Santa or not- I am 30 and still a believer!! It was always told to my sister and I- the day we stopped believing he stopped coming! And that is what I tell my students when they ask me if I believe….
Thanks Ashley for keepen it real!
I agree with you. I totally get why some parents don't do Santa, but the childhood innocence thing is what totally sells me on doing Santa. Personally, Christmas is and was magical to me because of the traditions my mom started when we were babies, so I don't worry in the slightest about how letting my kids believe in Santa will change their thoughts on Christmas or make them feel lied to.
I totally agree on the Santa front - as long as you are teaching you kids about the real meaning on Christmas why not throw in Santa as well?
I have been following your blog for some time - this is probably my first comment. I went to State and my husband is from the Jackson area. I started a blog a little bit ago about our struggles with infertility - it is anonymous right now but, hopefully I will reveal my identity and transition to a family/ pregnancy blog soon!
Love it. We totally did the Santa thing until my inevitable question: "Mom, Santa's not actually real is he?" Until then it was bliss. [My younger sister on the other hand? Queen of false dichotomies. You smoked or went to heaven; believed in God, or believed in Santa. I still have no idea how she came up with these things.] I'm sure Evy will thank you later. :) Have you heard the Josh Groban song "Believe" from The Polar Express? Lllloooovvvveeee. <3
This is a great post. I think children should be let to run their imagination wild.It helps in development of lateral thinking. Wheb you grow up you have to face the harsh reality of this world anyway! Why deny children of the fun of make believe?
♥ CJ
The bigger issue to me is how what my hubs and I decide to handle Santa and make believe line up with what others in our family do. For instance, my MIL is dead set on making sure her gkids know that Santa is real and it is NOT PoPo dressing up (her dad). I mean come on! If they figure it out, they figure it out, and I frankly don't care if they spoil it for the other kids. Sorry, that post got me a little riled up. Exactly what you said though, in the grand scheme of things, it isn't that big of deal.
I remember maybe one or two Christmases where my parents "did" Santa. And I honestly don't remember them ever doing anything with Santa with my younger siblings. I always enjoyed knowing that the presents came from my parents rather than "a jolly old man" who I didn't know. ;o)
I completely agree on a lot of what you said. Childhood should be fun, beautiful, innocent and absolutely magical! We haven't fully decided what we will do when we have children. For now, we have some time to decide(though hopefully not TOO long).
i loved this post ash. you hit the nail on the head and i love the sign! i've always been on the fence about not wanting to hurt cole's feelings, but i think i'll take the approach you mentioned when he discovers "the truth." thank you for sharing!
I loved this post! Very well said.
Had some extra time and happened upon your blog! :) Now I know where the lunch discussion of Santa versus no Santa came from! Haha. I think you and Kurt's approach sounds perfect! My parents took a similar approach and I have very fond memories from childhood Christmases where I believed in Santa. And absolutely NO trauma associated with when I realized he wasn't real. On a random but thought provoking note...I was (and ashamed to admit, still am) a huge scaredy cat. Hate horror movies...don't think it's fun to be scared AT ALL. Yet the idea of a strange, fat man dressed in a red suit shimmying down my chimney while I slept did not scare me in the slightest. Why? Was it because he brought me presents?
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