We received the phone call just a few minutes ago, and unfortunately we were not chosen to parent this little baby. The hardest part is that the social worker wouldn't tell us any details of the case. All she said was that another family stood out. I think that's the hardest thing to hear--that we didn't stand out for this child. We KNOW that it was nothing personal against us, and we are thrilled that somewhere a family is getting the news that they will be the parents to this little girl (and yes, it was a girl).
Kurt and I took a minute to just breathe and talk it out. Neither of us got emotional, simply because we were preparing ourselves for that outcome. I heard Evy playing downstairs and I told Kurt how completely thankful I am that we have her. I imagine the other families going through adoption (or trying the biological process) who don't have children yet, and it would be so much harder. It makes me pray for them more intensely.
After we got home (we received the call at my parents' house), it hit me, and I cried a bit. I think it's just because we invested so much, and then to be told it's not going to happen. However, we know that God has our child chosen for us. There's nothing we can humanly do to make this happen; it's in His hands. There's so much peace in that.
I can't thank you enough for your emails, tweets, comments, and messages over the last couple of days. I have never felt so surrounded by prayer and love. We appreciate it so very much. We will just continue in the adoption process, and we plan to start our homestudy in January. At this point, going to Committee again is too hard for me to think about, so I'm thinking about things in little steps. Who knows---perhaps our baby hasn't even been born yet. :) Only God knows.
We still praise Him,
