I feel like I'm always writing posts about traditions, but I always like to evaluate each year and see what's working and what we might want to change. I'm always interested in how other families "do" things, and I'm constantly analyzing what I want the holidays to look like for us.
This year was hard for me. Really hard. I can't pinpoint any one thing, but I think a lot of it had to do with all the change that's happened in our family in recent months. Obviously I'm not pointing to Liam as the source of my difficulty! But adding a child to the family is HUGE. I would say we're adjusting well and getting used to everything, but we just can't deny that our world has been completely rocked. Also, Liam is at the age where he is running around, touching everything, testing limits, etc. CONSTANTLY. We had gotten to a point with Evy where she was just very easy. She was always an easy baby, but once we were in her second year, it was as easy as breathing to take her places. Obviously Liam can't help what age he is, and he's a boy! All of that comes with the territory. It just made for very un-restful family gatherings. We were chasing him constantly and keeping the peace between him and Evy - ha! Please don't mistake this for me complaining or not appreciating that he's home with us. I AM! I'm just being honest. I've seen several people mention that Christmas was different for them this year, and it made me feel less alone. So maybe this will help others who had frenzied Christmases.
Also, Christmas fell on a Sunday this year. I know what you're thinking - like I said in my previous post, we were thrilled to go to church on Christmas morning and it didn't affect any traditions we have (we still would've gone if it had affected any traditions). But the day just had a different flow. That's the only way I know to describe it. We went to church, ate out at a restaurant and came home. It felt like any other Sunday - ha! We really enjoy eating out on Sundays after church and I wouldn't have changed anything about the day. It just felt very normal, and I think I like Christmas to feel different than other days of the year. I was convicted by this, because I shouldn't be looking for traditions, or events, or anything else to make Christmas FEEL like Christmas - it truly is about celebrating Christ. Worship is all we need on Christmas, and I'm thankful we had a wonderful service with our church family.
Finally, I took on too much this year. I don't even know how it happened! I really didn't feel overwhelmed while everything was happening, but then I got REALLY, REALLY sick the week before Christmas. It was a wake-up call, and I had time to dwell on the fact that along with just getting a horrible virus, my body was just DONE. This also led to me thinking through yearly activities and what I can do to simplify.
Before I get into our traditions, I'll share a little background on where we're coming from. Like I said before, I grew up moving every 4 or so years. While this has been a huge blessing in my life and made me who I am, it also means that there's not a home that I "grew up in." My siblings and I won't experience coming home every holiday to the rooms we slept in as kids, etc. Obviously I wouldn't change the way I grew up for anything, but since I know we're going to be in our town for hopefully our whole lives, I want my kids to experience a "family home" that we stay in forever. That was kind of a tangent, sorry! We always traveled to my mom's parents' for Christmas. My dad's parents lived far away and it wasn't always practical to travel that far. So we were used to doing our family presents several days before Christmas, and that was the special time for just our family. Then we would load up in the car and make the drive to my grandparents'. All of our family traditions were centered in Arkansas at my grandparents' house. I could list about 20 off the top of my head. In recent years, my grandparents have started traveling to us, so we don't really have those "Fayetteville" things anymore. That's why it's very important to me that Kurt and I are always having a conversation about things that our kids can look forward to, cherish and anticipate each year.
Kurt grew up in one house most of his entire childhood, up until the end of high school. Then they built a house across the street - ha! His grandparents live next door, and his other set of grandparents live 5 minutes away. Very different from how I grew up. Every Christmas day, they would spend the day over at one set of grandparents' house, which they still do to this day. Then usually the day after Christmas is spent with his other set of grandparents. It hasn't changed at all! :) He grew up spending Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and the day after with lots of extended family, food and fellowship.
So where does that leave us? Basically, we can't imagine it just being our family unit on Christmas Day. We both have wonderful, wonderful memories of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins on all of the special days. I guess I need to give the disclaimer that I'm not saying anything against people who have made their own decisions about Christmas celebrations. I just think it's funny, because I've read at least 12 (no lie) blog posts about Christmas and they all start with "We made the decision VERY early to ONLY spend Christmas day with OUR family" (and many posts used capital letters - ha!). I chuckle because Kurt and I made our adamant decision - we will always do everything we can to spend those days with our extended families. So it goes both ways, and each family makes the decision that's best for them. :)
Another thing we immediately agreed on was that we would alternate each year to be as fair as possible. I hate using the word "fair" because it sounds like rules to a game, but you know what I mean. This year I struggled because when we were at the Christmas Eve open house, I got really sad. I told Kurt that I wished we could do this every year and just have the consistency of yearly stuff. But at the same time, I wouldn't trade our Christmases in North Mississippi for anything. Kurt made a really good point. He said "Why don't we sit down and list some traditions for each year? That way we can get excited for the same predictable things at each place." It was the perfect thing to say to me because he knew I desperately wanted "order" and predictability. So here's our little list!
December Activities
-Mr. Dumey's Christmas Show (me and Kurt)
-Madrigal Feast (me and Kurt)
-Christmas Caroling (Started this year and LOVED IT!!!)
-Look at Christmas lights (we did this on several occasions and I love the memories!)
-Sing in our Christmas program at church
-Kids Christmas party (while I probably won't host this by myself again, I know all my friends will want to contribute and make this a yearly event!)
-Downtown Open House
-Ladies Christmas Tea and Home Tour at church
-Tour the Glenn House, a historical home in our town, to see it decorated for Christmas each yea
Notice that none of the above require heavy responsibilities from me. This is intentional! I think it's unavoidable that December is busy, but the above things keep us busy making memories as a family; they don't keep me busy with stress. Huge difference.
Traditions at Home:
-Christmas Eve service. I adore it!
-Christmas Eve open house (hosted by friends in our church) to spend time in fellowship with friends.
-Pick a day and have our family Christmas. I had someone ask to share more of how we do this. Christmas falls on a Tuesday next December, and we'll most likely do our family Christmas on Saturday morning, December 22nd. Then we'll probably celebrate with my family on Saturday evening (or something like that). Then we'll head to Mississippi for Christmas Eve, Day, and a couple of days after. We simply choose a day that we can dedicate to our little celebration and take our time doing our thing.
-On the years we're home, it will probably make sense for us to do Christmas morning presents. We're thinking we'd like to maybe do a Christmas breakfast with my family.
-I'd like to spend Christmas evening watching Christmas movies, maybe playing games with my siblings, and just hanging out. I was thinking maybe my mom and I could do a Christmas dinner together.
Traditions in Mississippi:
-I'm going to talk to Kurt's mom about having a Christmas Eve meal. It could even just be soup - she makes the best soups! But I think it would be nice to look forward to that meal. Or maybe Italian? Yum!
-I really enjoy drinking hot chocolate and watching Christmas movies once the kids have gone to bed. I have fond memories of sitting in the Lancasters' great room doing this, and it's super relaxing. :)
-Christmas Day we'll spend over at Momo and Daddy Willie's. We always eat a great lunch and exchange gifts with the whole extended family. So much fun!
-Usually the day after Christmas we'll go to Kurt's dad's parents and have lunch and the kids open their presents from Momma Dot and Grandaddy. It's also a really enjoyable time.
-If the shops are open, I'd like to go to some nearby small towns that have really cute boutiques and just browse. It makes for some fun outings!
So there you have it. In a nutshell, I'm keeping my responsibilities low, and we're keeping time with family as a top priority. Our little family unit is great and we value our time together, but we are very big on making the most of every opportunity while our older relatives are alive. Not to be morbid, but we want NO regrets. Again, each family is free to make their own decisions!! I just wanted to share what we do. I'm already looking forward to next year!
